Transformation is such a beautiful thing. I used to fear this word, like truly fear it. Now I openly embrace it with open arms and welcome it with a huge hug! When you learn to get out of your OWN WAY like I have in the past 3 months, I finally realized that I WAS THE PAIN IN THE ASS STANDING IN MY OWN WAY! YEP!! Hard lesson to learn after a while but let’s face it I’m half Polish people so it does take me some time to get things!

As I continue to meditate and find my way on this new adventure I am learning that I truly get bored at jobs where I can’t move up in the ladder! Which is why I haven’t stayed at many places more than 5 years. I have truly been all over the map! I started as a little girl selling watermelon on the side of the road with my Tata. As a teen I worked at the park n swap with my Papa selling ceramics. As a young adult I worked at call centers “YUCK”! I then went into the automotive industry where I met my husband and stayed the longest. 15 years between 3 locations, but I also got to move into various positions which kept it entertaining to me. I then became a stay at home mother “NOT FOR ME” but I enjoyed the time I had with my kids. I went to school for medical billing and coding, got a job did well for a time but left. Then went into the Veterinary field and moved around that was fun for some time but got exhausting and hurtful after time. Then worked for the Ostrich Ranch the MOST FUN JOB I ever had but I needed to move home because I lost my home, needed health insurance, and my father unexpectedly falls ill. Let’s just say the timing was perfect to move home.

I am now in my current job at the high school that I do love but I have found that in my current position I have grown out of. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t leave because the kids needed me, nobody would be able to do the job without me, etc. But in fact that was my own EGO getting in my way! I was the one who was standing in God’s/Universe’s way of transformation in my life to make me better! So, people pay attention to the SIGNS they are there for a reason! I’m telling you if you are feeling UNCOMFORTABLE in the place you are in at this moment, there is a REASON! No matter if it’s a job, relationship, friendship, even some family members we have to distance ourselves from. The toxicity is unhealthy and you are not meant to be near it. Lord knows you can’t change people who don’t want to be changed so, STOP WAISTING your ENERGY on them! It took me forever to learn that lesson!!

I am now exploring new job opportunities, going back to school to become a Physical Therapist. Is it going to be HARD? YES. Is it going to be SCARY? YES. But I will NO LONGER LET FEAR CONTROL MY LIFE! I will think positive and continue on my path of ME and become what I was meant to be all along. NOT WHO EVERYONE TOLD ME TO BE. I’m so tired of taking the disappointment of my family. I am no longer the middle child. I am no longer the bridge that has to keep everyone together. I am no longer the one who has to be responsible for everyone. I only have to be responsible for ME! It’s an AMAZING FEELING TO BE ALBE TO LET ALL THAT GO! I am enough! I am worthy! I can have it all! I don’t need anybody’s approval but my own in this life to be ME! This is what God/Universe has been trying to communicate to me all this time! Once you learn to fall in love with YOU nothing else matters! The judgements go away, you stop caring about what others think about you. That’s the “Devil” putting shit in your head tell him to “FUCK OFF” he doesn’t exist to ME no longer!

Follow your dreams! Don’t be afraid to try new things. Step outside your comfort zone. You never know what you will find! A new job, a new friend, a new beginning! I have learned over the past 45 years that life is SHORT we are here on borrowed time! If you don’t take this time and use it for what it’s worth that’s when we find regrets. Say what needs to be said! Do what makes YOU happy, not what your told to make you happy! Self reflection is huge! You know I was talking to my girlfriend yesterday and I told her that she should have her daughter write a letter to herself before her Senior year starts this fall so she can set goals, plans, and expectations for herself and see who she is now compared to who she will be before she goes to College. Now that I’m thinking about it we can all do that yearly to hold ourselves accountable. Write a letter to yourself setting goals, plans, and expectations for the next year and reflect on who we are as the years change. Ready set go!!! TTYL!!