I suffer from insomnia and I have for many years. I have the mind racing problem, you know when you just can’t shut off your damn brain! YEP THAT’S ME! It’s one of my most annoying qualities! I don’t like taking sleeping pills because they make you feel so damn groggy in the morning, like I was up drinking all night with the homies! Well come to find out that is one of my finest qualities as a Generator in my lovely human design. Now what the HELL do I do?

Ok, the research shows during my fall and spring seasons when I’m coaching and working my ASS off I come home tired as HELL and can fall asleep with no problem! Or like in my previous post I sleep all weekend! I am now at the point where I need to find a balance! It is now the summer and I’m NOT working and my mind is RACING 24-7. WTF!!!! My goal this summer is to work on finding that balance so going into the fall I will have a plan for the next school year so I can keep my SHIT together this year. Working in the ESS department there is never a dull moment so you would think that I would come home exhausted daily. I DO! Although I still stay up at night thinking about what needs to be done the next day.

Then I have 3 beautiful cats they are Bangles and most entertaining! As we all know they don’t like to sleep at night because they sleep all DAMN DAY! So, I have my girl Pedro who we thought was a boy, turned out to be a girl the name stuck!! She loves coming to wake me up in the middle of the night for love. How can I say NO to that! She is truly my JOY! She comes in and head butts me to wake me up or gently paws at my face. She always knows when I need her. “Just wish it was not in the middle of the night.” I just love how animals can read their humans it’s such a beautiful thing!

Sorry went off on a tangent there it’s because she is in here with me now while I’m writing this post and it’s 1:30am here in AZ. So, to get back to how I’m going to figure out this whole sleep thing. My chart suggests that Generator’s should always wear themselves out before bedtime. It suggests to exercise or go for a run etc…well I live in Arizona and it’s summer here right now it’s hotter than HELL! I will take the exercise option I think! I will create a schedule for myself this summer and see how I progress.

I’m also 45 years old and menopause is coming my way I’m so not looking forward to that SHIT! The hot flashes, more sleepless nights, sweating, why did God/Universe have to make being a woman so FUCKING hard? It’s fine I will put on my BIG GIRL PANTIES and take it on like a CHAMP! Despite all the crap that comes with it. There has to be a silver lining somewhere right? Maybe then I will get some actual rest. Till then I will continue to find ways to wear myself out so I can try and sleep at night.

I usually do meditation at night to try and slow my brain down it usually takes about 3 sessions to finally get my brain to stop and fully rest. Well I should be honest it also depends on if the boss really pissed me off that day or not. So, my goal for this year is to truly be healthier for my mindset and that may mean to get a new job. That also keeps me up at night because I love my kiddos at the campus I just hate my boss. Honestly I have grown out of the position I just need to get out of my own way and let the Spirits lead me to my next adventure. STRESS people is a silent killer! My stress level this year has put me in the hospital on more than one occasion. I take that as a sign. But the grass is never greener on the other side I know for a fact. So, I also have to learn how to manage my stress as well as my sleep. We shall see how this goes. I wish you all a great day! TTYL!